The United States of Pants Wetters

Whatever happened to "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself?". 

Apparently the list of things that we're supposed to be wetting our pants about is as follows: ISIS, Ebola, Khorasan, Al-qaeda, Mexicans, black people (especially if they're wearing a hoodie), brown people, young people, old people and last but certainly not least, gay people. Have I missed anything? Probably, it's hard to keep up. All I know is that lately I can't escape the feeling that my country and its people are completely and utterly full of shit. Seriously. Is the US the greatest nation that ever was and ever will be? Or is it under constant threat of hyperventilating at the sight of its own shadow? You can't have both. If a nation spends over a TRILLION dollars a year on defence and yet still doesn't feel safe, I think we can safely say there's a problem. Frankly, you've lost your fucking minds. There isn't enough military might in the world to fix the problem, because the problem isn't real. 

Actually, I'll take some part of that back. There is a problem. You, the people, are the problem. Grow a pair already. 

Are you scared of getting Ebola? Well guess what? You're not going to get Ebola. You just aren't, it's as simple as that. You've got a better chance of choking to death on a fucking cheesy poof or a pretzel (just ask George Bush). 

Does the thought of terrorists keep you up at night? Guess what? You're an idiot. The odds are more in your favour of being killed by lightening than by a terrorist. That's not hyperbole. Where's the panic? Where's the congressional hearings on Zeus and his "network of death"? Why aren't Steve King and Ted "won't someone please notice me" Cruz jumping up and down about this clear and present danger??? 

We're so caught up in our little fad phobias and fears because deep down inside we know they aren't real. Because if they were, we might have to actually face them. God forbid we actually start giving a damn about things that would require real effort to fix. And don't even think about mentioning the word "sacrifice", because we just don't do that shit anymore. Instead, it's much easier to pay attention to things which allow us to justify our "fuck you, I've got mine" mentality. 

"Waaaaaa poor me, the world is scary. I'm complicated and I have problems you can't possibly understand." Fucking babies. Go choke on some snack food.

What I'm Hoping the President Will Say Regarding ISIS/ISIL

So, the Middle East is embroiled in yet another clusterfuckstormapocolypse. Is anyone surprised? Here's another shocker. Apparently America has to "act" or "lead" or what ever word you want to use for "bomb the shit out of someone". Again. Aren't we over this crap yet? The usual collection of chickenhawks in Washington, and their spineless enablers in the media, have all decided that this is a done deal. The public? They appear to be warming to the idea of getting involved as well. Recent polls show an increase in the number of Americans who think that an ever expanding air campaign in nations which are harbouring suspicious brown people is an excellent idea. Seriously, what could go wrong?

A lot of the people that I talk to in the land of Oz seem to think that Americans love them some wars. Like it's some kind of a national pastime. I think they're wrong. It's not wars that Americans love. It's the warm fuzzy feeling that comes with thinking the world is full bad guys, and we're the only ones who are capable of stopping it. Don't believe me? How many of these trumped up little pissant dictators and extremists get compared to Hitler? How often do politicians use words to paint a picture where it's "us" vs.. "them", with "us" being all things good and holy, while "them" is pure evil. Americans don't love war. We love the idealised notion that we're fucking super heroes.

Does this mean that I think ISIS isn't engaging in barbaric behaviour? Or that I think there's some reason they shouldn't be wiped off the face of the earth? No. I just don't think America needs to be the one to do it. We've been providing arms, money, and training to just about every nation in the Middle East that bats their eyelashes at us. Honestly, it's to the point that if this was a romantic comedy, America's bros would be going "duuude, stop thinking with your dick. She's just using you". So, here's a novel idea. Let. Them. Handle. It. If ISIS is so big and badass, then fine. Let the locals deal with it. Maybe it'll give them a excuse to stop arguing and bickering among themselves for a month or two.  Let Syria decide whether it can find use for its military that doesn't involve massacring civilians. Sick of the Iraqi's playing a neverending game of king of the hill? Tell them they're on their own with this one. The Kurds want freedom and independence? Go forth and get you some. We'll stay out of your way.

That brings me to what I'm hoping (but seriously doubting) the President will say tonight. America has spent trillions on this thing we call a war on terror. Yes, over 3,000 people died on 9/11. It was a horrible tragedy. Close to 7,000 Americans have died in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm no mathematician, but I'm smart enough to work out which number is bigger. Now, what portion of American society do you think the majority of those almost 7,000 deaths came from? How many of them were the sons and daughters of the politicians and media elite currently calling for war? How many of them were born into families of the 1%? Who do you think is going to end up shouldering the majority of the burden this time around? Wars are started by the rich and powerful, but they're fought and paid for by the poor and the middle class. That's why you don't see army recruiters in rich neighbourhoods. They know there's no point. Instead, they're always coming to areas where the economic prospects are limited. Want to see the world? Can't afford an education? No worries, just sign here and we'll take care of everything. We'll even pay you for the honour! I mean yea, the pay isn't great and you might die. Even if you do survive, you'll come back home to a country that treats its veterans like shit where it counts. I say where it counts because we're wonderful at saying all the right things, we show respect and "honour their sacrifices". When it comes to things that count though, things like providing decent medical care and helping with the transition back into civilian life, don't you know the economy is terrible at the moment??? What do you want? Everything?

For all of these reasons and more, I'm hoping that the President will defy the pundits and the odds. The speech starts at 9:01. It shouldn't take more than 5 minutes for him to walk to the podium and tell the Middle East that they're on their own. As for the very serious thinkers and important people clamouring for yet another war? Fuck you and the gold gilded pony you rode in on.

Do I think this is what will happen? Of course not. I may have voted for Obama twice, but I'm not naive enough to think he's suddenly going to break the mould by growing a pair. He'll do the same thing virtually every President does. He'll cave. The circle will remain unbroken. Woo freaking hoo.

“She was everywhere, she used to do everything. And the good thing was, she never called out.”

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a news article that has had me thinking ever since. 

It's here if you're interested. 

The gist is that a 32 year old woman named Maria Fernandez was driving to work when she decided to pull off to the side of the road and take a nap in her car. She also decided to leave the car running, presumably because it's pretty cold in New Jersey. Unfortunately, a petrol/gas can had turned over in the back of the car. The combination of the petrol fumes from the can, and carbon monoxide from the exhaust was enough to kill her while she slept.

That part where I said she was driving to work? What I forgot to mention is that she was actually taking a nap between jobs. "Between jobs" doesn't really cut it though because apparently she might've been working at as many as four different Dunkin' Donuts in the area. I wonder if she was granted any last thoughts as the sleep which she would never wake from took her. I'd like to think there's someone she was looking forward to spending some time with. Maybe as her eyes closed a song came on the radio, one of the good ones, and she just drifted off..... comforted by an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and memories of better days. I want to believe that. Let's be honest though. More than likely she was thinking about bills that needed to be paid, and the fact that there would never be enough hours in the day to catch up. 

That brings me to the point of this I guess. I don't have any solutions, nor am I enough of a hypocrite to pretend that I really give a shit. Really though, that's what it comes down to. Stories like this remind us of just how rigged the game is, how much the whole thing just fucking blows. Do we do anything though? Can we? Is it all just destined to suck? I was struck by a quote in the article that prompted, and resulted in the title of, this whiny, pissing in the wind little rant. 

One of Maria's coworkers said the following about her: "She was everywhere, she used to do everything. And the good thing was, she never called out." Just for the sake of emphasis, I'll repeat the last part again "And the good thing was, she never called out." I'm struggling to see how that's a "good" thing. Maybe "convenient" would be a better word. It's a helluva lot easier to overlook people if they're not calling out. How many Maria's am I ignoring every day? 

When I started typing this, I had a clearly defined goal of what I wanted to say. It would've ended up being something along the lines of "how fucked is this? Since when is working 4 jobs not enough? what the fuck is wrong with my homeland??" Blah blah blah, the usual "evils of capitalism" bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I could go on for hours about how I think people are getting screwed by a system that just doesn't care. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm starting to wonder if the people who are being screwed care even less. They don't seem to care about themselves, and they damn sure don't care about each other. Basically, we're screwed, and I'm not even sure if that's undeserved anymore.

Anyway, here's a picture of one of our dogs being awesome. Why? because I can.

Diversify

This was supposed to be limited to my ramblings on food and cooking. However, One dead laptop later all progress ceased. Then, as tends to happen with things like this, I got side-tracked. All the while my little corner of the internet sat here lost and alone gathering e-dust. "E-dust", that's just my attempt at being clever BTW. So, if you're a member of one of the numerous "law enforcement" agencies that have been tasked with sifting through people's semi-private lives, please don't get your hopes up.

Now, where was I? Yes, I remember now. Mourning the death of my laptop and allowing myself to get distracted by more noble pursuits, such as (but not limited to) getting older, getting fat on the couch, and working. That last one in particular has always been a personal favourite of mine. I can only assume that anyway, considering just how much of my fucking life I've allowed it to consume. That is no way to live, not happily anyway. So I've decided to change course a bit. Hence the reason why I'm resurrecting this project of mine. I've realized though that I don't want to devote the whole thing to food. As much as I love cooking, writing about it at the exclusion of everything else just isn't enough of an outlet for the scraps of nonsense floating around in my head.

I'm still going to get to that perfect omelette though. Don't you worry.