Gypsies Wagon

The Rambling

This will be the first food related post that I've made in awhile. If I'm being honest, and I do try to be, this will be the first anything related post that I've made for awhile. I'd like to say that it's because I've been far too busy chasing my dreams and getting shit done. But, I'd also like to say that the myth about guys with big feet is in fact, factual.

We don't always get what we want. 

Perhaps at a more suitable time (IE when I feel like it) I'll get around to dithering on about some of the reasons why my brain basket hasn't been real quick on the uptake lately. Until then, I suggest we get one with the show.

So, as the title would suggest, the subject of today/tonight's ramblings is "The Gypsies Wagon Diner and Bar." My wife and I stumbled on the Wagon (who am I kidding, I've never spent a day on the wagon in my life) purely because we saw it across the street from "Grub Street" (another excellent breakfast option [spoiler? yea, too late]) out in Gaythorne. 

We were a little confused as to whether or not the neighboring shop-front, The Hansell and Gretel Cafe, was part of the same establishment (this might have something to do with the fact that we were both suffering from Sunday morning hunger brain). Actually, come to think of it I still don't really understand why there's two names for what I think is the same place. Either way, one of the helpful staff was kind enough to point us in the right direction. 

The first thing we noticed once we were inside is that it's got a laid back, funky vibe to it. The only way that I know to say it is that nothing really matches but everything goes together. Also, while we've not experienced a night-time session at the Wagon just yet (one of the things I'm noticing as I get older is that nigh-time sessions are hard work), it definitely looks like the kind of place where you could kick back and have a couple of drinks without feeling like you're on display.

Anyway, enough procrastinating. Things like quirky decor and excellent service can only get you so far. Bring on the food!

The Food

Funny thing about this blogging crap. A couple of hours ago I realized that I've yet to upload the more recent photos from my phone to the cloud (side note, just saying "the cloud" makes me want to punch myself in the throat. It's almost as bad as "synergy"). So, while that little problem was sorting itself out, I took a break from this to finish the giant(ish) re-imagining of fairy bread that I'm putting together for tomorrow. That's either a shameless plug for something that I'm hoping to post some photos of within the next couple of days, or it's a deep reflection on the fact that time has no real meaning in this little world that I'm venting into. Take your pick.

The first time my wife and I frequented the Wagon, we were a bit greedy and ordered with our eyes instead of our stomachs. I guess if you go somewhere while you're hungry and there's loads of interesting options, you end up taking the Buddhist "Make me one with everything" approach. 

For those folks who are only just joining our semi-regularly scheduled program, terrible puns come with the territory. You get used to it or you get gone (hopefully to something more interesting, like watching flies fornicate).

So, the first time we found ourselves in the wagon, I ordered the "Steak and Philly", my wife ordered a "Bubble & Squeak" and we thought 'meh, we're hungry. We may as well get a "Chili Cheese Fries" to share.'

BTW, my inner 6 year old can't help but think of this when someone says "Bubble & Squeak." Feel free to let your thinking muscles work out on that one while you finish reading this. That's assuming of course that you actually do finish reading this.

Thy Name is Excess

I'll be honest, when I read the menu I thought I was going to get a Philly Cheesesteak. Clearly that's not what came out. Apparently, they take the "Philly Cheese" part quite literally (think cream cheese.) The good news is that even though the burger that came out wasn't what I expected, it was delicious.
The braised steak was soft and juicy and the hot n' spicy sauce that was slathered on my meat was awesome..... slathered I tell you. Now I'm left wondering why it is that describing good food always sound so sexual.... Moving on!

The provolone smothered, brisket covered loaded fries were everything a person could want in a meal that's going to leave you feeling like a pig afterwards. They were an excellent mix of crispy, well seasoned potato and gluttony inducing cheesy, slow-cooked goodness.

Also for the record, referring to the fries as a "meal" rather than a "side" wasn't a mistake. The portion size was large enough that anything else would be overkill for someone not looking to eat themselves into an early grave.

For our second visit, we were a bit more strategic in our ordering.  My wife opted for what I think was called "The Matador", we got a bowl of un-loaded chips to share and I went for the cheeseburger with bacon and sriracha ranch dressing.

Who is photobombing who?

The couple of bites that I had of the Matador were definitely tasty, in a totally non-cannibalistic kind of way of course. The meatballs were nice and soft (no-one wants rock hard balls) and the sauce was loaded with tomato flavour. That being said, I had my own meal to focus on, and there was a decent heaping of chips between us to add to the distraction. Consequently, I don't think it would be fair for me to offer up much of an opinion one way or the other on this one. I reckon you'll just have to take a look at the picture and make up your own mind as to what you think.

As was the case the last time around, the chips were crisp and well seasoned. I almost didn't regret the fact that we went for the un-loaded variety. My arteries were probably grateful for the change of pace. But seriously, what have they ever done for me?

Behold! In all its glory! 

This brings me to the cheeseburger, aka "The Main Event." For a bit of context, in my opinion you can't get much better than a good burger. The catch is that most of the time what you get when you go out isn't nearly as good as what you can make yourself. This is particularly true if you're in the mood for a tasty, no-frills, char-grilled goodness. Invariably you'll get something where the bun is massive and way too crunchy. Or, the patty has the consistency of a brick and it's loaded with all kinds of god-awful things that have no business being on a hamburger (I'm looking at you pineapple and beetroot). I'm not the most well traveled person in the word, but I've had a bit of meat in my mouth over the years (and my jokes are as subtle as Donald Trump on meth). I can honestly say that a burger at the Wagon rates up there with the best that I've found in Brisbane. I'd happily put it up against a burger from Ben's Burgers, Hudson's Corner or the South Side Diner (all of which are awesome as well btw). The bun was soft and squishy without being too fragile, the sriracha ranch was delicious and the smokiness of the bacon and the cheese was an excellent foil for the crisp bit of cos that brought the whole thing together. Last but certainly not least, the meat wasn't cooked within an inch of it's freaking life (a pet hatred of mine). It was nice and charred on the outside, but pink and juicy on the inside (remember what I said before about food always sounding sexual???) Overall, it really was one of the tastiest burgers that I've had in awhile.

The Verdict

I don't have a scoring system for things like this. If we were talking movies, it would be "The Happening Scale of Craptitude." Until I come up with something palatable and easily digestible (you know that wasn't a mistake), all I can say is the Wagon is well worth a visit. The food is excellent, the staff are friendly as hell and the menu won't leave you bored. The next time you find yourself having the "I dunno, what do you want for breakfast/lunch?" conversation, give these folks a go. You won't be disappointed.